Trade-In Underwear for Games

Day 9: Did I mention I hate shopping

Normally I would have been incredibly excited that my husband bought me fancy chonies for Christmas.  But since things have been rocky, I decided to return the unworn gift which FYI is super awkward.  I actually mailed the stuff back via UPS and wrote a letter to the company explaining why I didn’t want these garments.  Reading my note must have been as uncomfortable as writing it because against their normal policy they refunded the entire purchase. The point of the story is I am buying us a new game with underwear money from Christmas and percolating on what to purchase.

Choosing between Lore and Legends 

In an attempt at geeky romance this influx of unexpected monies is getting spent on my 100-day quest to save my marriage with games.  Three games I am considering with some pros and cons:

Game: Firefly Yahtzee

System: Tabletop

Developer: Hasbro

Pro: The only reason I want this game is because I am obsessed with all things Joss Whedon.  This game is also playable with the kiddos.

Con: Normally I would not feel compelled to own Yahtzee but I would play this and also prominently display it because it looks awesome.

Us with Tim Schaffer forever ago at E3. 

Game: Grim Fandango

System: PS4

Developer: Double Fine 

Pro: Tim Schaffer.  Nuff said.

Me 2014 Dia De Los Muertos

Okay I am going to say a few other things.  This is also an adventure game rebooted that could be played while the kids are awake.  And I heart me some adventure games.  Plus its on the PS4 which is all shiny and new and we currently use more than anything else.  The artwork is amaze-balls and as you know I love all things day of the dead inspired. 

  

Con: It is not out today and I would love to buy something I can have in my greedy little hands yesterday.

Game: LotR Card Game

System: Tabletop

Developer: Fantasy Flight Games 

Pro: Once upon a time there were two gamers who spent every Friday night playing magic or pokemon card games.  Card games were nice because unlike a PS4 they fit nicely in a clutch for a portable date night or gaming in nature. We also have other friends who play this game as a couple so we can ask questions.  I just finished reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy to the kiddos this summer so I love the lore.

Con:  I have read that there is a steep learning curve when starting this game.  It is a a better couples game and not a family game for people with young kids.  As we learned from Netrunner, small children like pretty cards and will likely not leave decks undisturbed.  

 

Would be great if anyone out there has other suggestions?  Please reply in the comments bellow and weigh in on what would be fun and why. 

I hope you dance.

Day 8: The Party Pooper

If you have every seen the Toyota SUV commercial where the mother narrates that some families camp but she likes dance parties then this post will make sense to you.  I am that crazy mom sans a mirror ball (mental note buy mirror ball). 

At least twice a month and usually completely impromptu, the kiddos and me have a crazy dance parties in our living room.  Sometimes this is initiated by dancing games with our kinnect.  But other times it is just me, being a cooky and weird mom.  Usually my husband sits on the couch and watches us and laughs.  But it has always made me a little sad that when there is no one in the house except for me, and our two incredibly uncoordinated children, my husband is a dance party spectator aka party pooper.

Dancing has never been a big part of my relationship.  The four occasions my husband has ever danced with me in public include:

1. EBHS Prom 99’
2. OUR Wedding 03’
3. Heavyside Wedding 06’
4. Tipton Wedding 11’

*Dancing is comprised almost entirely of slow songs.

That was until yesterday, when I walked into the living room and found my partner in a heated dance battle with our son.  They were both actually completely on synch and rhythm with the music in the game Just Dance 4.  We only played for around 30 minutes or so before he turned on music and the entire family just danced in the living room.  Dance might be the wrong word because there were some flying kicks, cartwheels, yoga, and head banging included.

Game: Just Dance 4

System: Xbox 360

Developer: Ubisoft

Gauntlet Thrown

The nice thing about blogging is that it raises the bar.  The internet now knows my husband can dance, so he better make a habit of dancing with me.  

Boone kids in heated dance battle. 

Dance battle call out. 

I tried… but I still hate First Person Shooters

Day 7: My Black Thumb 

I am obsessed with the game PvZ on the iPad and play it daily.  When Pop Cap offered this game on the PS4 I could not have been more elated, until I realized it was an FPS. It is hard to be deterred when you feel such a connection with the art, ideas, or developer behind a game.  Even though I am terrible at shooters I thought I could overcome it to play PvZ on a new platform.  I was wrong but it isn’t because I didn’t try. 

When the music and bubble gum animation appeared on my television screen I felt a surge of joy.  Then I started my game and as the first wave appeared I was instantly stressed.  Yes, I know there is a targeting function that even turns red when you lock on to a target but I can’t even find the cross hairs.  They don’t stand out to me because shooter games are just not in my wheelhouse.  I tried a few easy levels with different plants but just could not find the same fix from playing this game in a format I don’t like.

Trying to play PvZ on the PS4 is much like the contradiction I currently face in my relationship.  I crave the familiar but even though the game has the same name, style, characters, and this music is filled with a familiar happiness: it is not the same game.  And one thing I know about myself is that I don’t want to play a first-person shooter but I picked up the controller anyway.  I only played a few levels before I changed games because watching a garden die over and over is never fun no matter how joyful the artwork.  

Playing: Plants vs. Zombies

System: PS4 & iPad

Developer: Pop Cap

Mental Note: Don't Shoot Your Husband 

Even if you plug in an old school Nintendo and blow out your old cartridges playing Super Mario Brothers or Duck Hunt will never bring the same joy it did when you were 10 years old.  Once you loose that innocence of experiencing joy without realizing you were living some of the best moments of your life they are just gone.  Just because you know they were amazing doesn’t mean that you can go back and re-live them.  You have to start over and find new joy.  This year I let go of the little house on East California and the marriage I thought I had. On a brighter note, it is probably good that I don’t like to shoot things when I am upset.

For me, 2015 is about finding new joy and not trying to force myself to like FPS’s.

*While playing PvZ on my iPad my kids decided we need some photos of me making zombie faces. Hope you enjoy some plants and zombie faces.

Stop Staring at the Broken Gamer Couple

Day 4: Take a Screenshot it will last Longer 

Sunday is a busy family day and the aim of todays post is brevity. However, I wanted to discuss the tension between playing games versus a public relationship.

Gossip and Cursing 

Unlike courting avatars, it is strange to be a couple attempting to reconcile out and about in the real world.  Today I felt people watching me and I could not imagine why.  After a short while I realized social scrutiny was not triggered by a nip slip or toilet paper stuck to my shoes.  Instead people were waiting for something…something like a turrets screaming match to erupt at any moment.  Just to be clear: I did not start screaming curse words in front of my children at morning mass or the proceeding family breakfast.  I am trying to save all the insults and cursing for my blog and gaming.

Playing: Diablo 3

System: PS4 

Developer: Blizzard

Reflection: You are probably getting sick of me reflecting on Diablo but it is just the most fun game at this phase in our crisis.  Some days you just don’t want to pick up a controller and on those days watching someone play Diablo does not disappoint. Yesterday, I chose to watch Diablo instead of play.

Giving up the pirate life...Arrrrr 

Despite my use of profanity in my previous blog post I have thus far refrained from trash talk during gameplay.  Maybe I need to change my mental model from being a bitchy gamer to being a supportive nurturing gamer?  I will keep you posted on how well that goes but I anticipate getting a sailor to learn manners is not something that happens over night. Grrr...Arggg. 

Why Play Games Instead of Getting a Divorce?

Day 4: Choosing Games Not Pain 

This entry is not meant as a defense of my decision to stay married at this time.  It is a chance for me to understand my own thought process on the matter of choosing to game.   

When warning signs appear in a relationship it is difficult to have perspective and be objective.  This blog is about marital gaming but it is also about relationships.  Because what are relationships but a series of small interactions that help us connect, relate, and live our lives?  Games can be a powerful tool for friendship, intimacy, and play.  I am in painful and uncharted territory but when it comes to games I know the jargon and understand virtual worlds.

After meeting my partner 21 years ago, and almost 12 years of marriage I am learning a new language to understand my relationship.  During this phase of our marital crisis there are two ideas that resonate with me the most pain shopping and the dance of confrontation.   

Pain shopping is when a person examines and inquires on matters that do not bring healing.  For control freaks like me it feels like investigating helps to make informed decisions, but really pain shopping is just giving pain free rent in your brain.  As I mentioned in other blog posts, I do not enjoy shopping.

Dance of confrontation is starting one-sided arguments as an opportunity to vent and berate another person to regain some sense of control.  I am not saying that arguments, communication, and fights are not important.  But when you are in the midst of a tragedy its easy to just lash out instead of communicate.

Before I started this blog I spent a lot of time unknowingly subjecting myself to negative behaviors.  But now instead I choose to play games, not to avoid the problem but during the time in between dealing, I want to give myself something to do that is healthier.  I am blogging about gaming with my husband to remind myself that there is good not just pain left in our relationship. 

Laughter and Change

Game Show: Game of the Year

System: YouTube

Developer: Giant Bomb

Reflection:  The Game of the Year for Giant Bomb is hysterically funny and allowed us to enjoy both game time and cuddling.  Trolling through our old blog entries reminded me that GFW and Giant Bomb have been part of our gaming relationship for a long time.

Just because things still exist doesn’t mean that they remain static.  Giant Bomb has transformed over the last 6 years with new additions, tragedies, and evolving transmedia formats.  Giant Bomb has the same name and goal but it is not the same podcast it was when I listened before – Giant Bombcast and the guy I married can both still make me laugh. 

This blog has existed for more than 6 years and during that time my relationship and life have undergone major changes.  I don't know what other changes are on the horizon and I have no plan to make those decisions today.  Today I plan to keep gaming and I will continue to reflect on what I learn from that process whatever outcome that may be.