Tuesday, April 21, 2020

The Jiron's Almost 60 Year Love Story

Wise men say only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you?
Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life too
For I can't help falling in love with you
Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life too
For I can't help falling in love with you
For I can't help falling in love with you

Elvis, "Can't Help Falling in Love"

The year was 1961, Ted Jiron was working for the Los Angeles County Engineering Department when he decided to join a bowling league with some of his coworkers. Arlene Cruz had recently decided to move from Bakersfield to Los A with some of her friends. These three Bakersfield women  also decided to join a Bowling League and dragged Arlene along. Once a week, in a smoky room with squeaky rented bowling shoes the Jiron romance blossomed.

Arlene was working at an ice plant on Alemeda street and Ted's job for the county was only a few blocks away. Working only blocks apart, bowling dates turned into lunch dates. Ted spent every spare moment courting Arlene.

Tragedy struck as their courtship progressed and Arlene lost her job. She confessed to Ted that without work she would soon be moving back to Bakersfield. Ted realized he could not live another day without Arlene and immediately asked for her hand in marriage. Before Arlene officially said yes, she brought Ted to Bakersfield to meet the Cruz clan.

After a few whirlwind months, Ted sat across from her imposing father, Grandpa Carl at there family home in East Bakersfield and asked for Arlene's hand.  On November 11th 1961 Judge Noriega married Ted Jiron and Arlene Cruz inside of her childhood home.

After almost six decades the Jiron family has grown beyond their 3 children Teddy Jiron, Gina Hertz and Joey Jiron, to include 9 grandchildren (Genine, Chris, Tawny, Nick, Jake, Sydney, Joey, Annette, Molly) and 8 great grand children (Anjel, Inara, Nathan, Jett, Jax, Susie, River, Cali).

After they retired Ted and Arlene and their cockapoo Taffy moved to the Rio Bravo Country Club. They stayed busy with their grandchildren, church and playing golf. For many years together they coordinated Eucharistic ministers at St. Joseph's church.

With my grandmother by his side today my grandfather Ted Jiron took his last breathe. I went back and reread this story that they both helped me write almost 10 years ago.  I am amazed that in a dark smoke filled bowling alley Ted Jiron saw my grandma and just knew. The certainty and degree to which he loved my grandma inspires me even on this dark day.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Why Journalists are Wrong: Best Buffy Episodes Part 2

Watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a daily ritual for me.  Some people sleep to white noise but to unwind each day I prefer the riff of a guitar and the poof of vampires being dusted.  Choosing the best episode was difficult because the episodes I watch the most are ones that I like to sleep to or for moments I need in my life.

There are some emotional days when I am angry at the world and need to watch episode 5 from season 6 titled “Family” just to get to the end and see Tara and Willow levitate as they embrace lovingly. Other days I feel so misunderstood I need to watch the twelfth episode of Buffy season four “A New Man” and watch Giles transformed into demon with magical boogers and huge horns that no one but one but Spike understands.  And I know its coming but I still cry every time I see Giles face go from a smile to horror when he finds Jennie Calendars body in the episode “Passions.”  But whether it is a moment or monster that draws me to episodes, I have a long list of episodes that keep me riveted to the screen even after dozens of views. Here are my top 6 with my favorite moment from the episodes explained.

Prophecy Girl
Season 1 Episode 12
Fav Moments: Had to pick a few. 

When Buffy walks in on Giles and Angel discussing her eminent death.  She has an long monologue but halfway through she says “does it say how I will die?” and a takes this breathe to hold back a sob and says after that “will it hurt?” Those last 3 words “will it hurt” is an amazing moment for such a young actress. 

The outfit: white dress, crossbow & leather jacket (nuff’ said).

The bloody handprint on the TV screen playing Saturday morning cartoons when Cordelia and Willlow find the vampires victims in the school recreation room. 

Amends (almost my topic pick)
Season 3 Episode 10
Fav Moment: When Angel tries to commit suicide by waiting for the sun to rise.  And then the sun never shows its face because instead in a southern California beach town it snows (uh I get a pang in my heart just typing about the moment)

Prom (almost my top pick)
Season 3 Episode 20

Fav Moment:  This episode restored my faith in humanity but that is not reflected by my favorite moment but is worth saying.  Even after all Angelus’s murdering and torturing people, I remember being devastated that Angel was walking away from Buffy in season 3. 

She is speaking to Giles about the wonderful surprise of her classmates honoring her with the sparkly umbrella/ class protector award and she says, “Sometimes people surprise you.”  The music starts and Giles replies and directs her attention to Angel in a tux approaching and says, “sometimes they do.”  And in the end she gets her perfect Angel and Buffy high school moment. 

A New Man
Season 4 Episode 12

Fav Moment: Giles jumping out of his “perfectly serviceable car” to chase Professor Walsh up the street after declaring he was not going to behave like a monster (Maggie so had it coming).

Once More with Feeling
Season 6 Episode 7

Fav Moments:

Show writer producer Marti Noxon singing about a parking ticket. "I'm not wearing underwear" 

Show writer & producer David Fury singing about getting out mustard.

Every part of the song “I have a theory” but in particular when Xander sings:
“It could be witches, some evil witches! Which is ridiculous 'cause witches they were persecuted. Wicca good and love the earth and women power and I'll be over here.”

I will Remember You
Angel Season 1 Episode 8

Fav Moments: Buffy and Angel eating ice cream like a normal couple in bed.  Angel sacrifices the chance to be human and with Buffy.  The moment when he reveals this to buffy and she weeps repeating the mantra, “I will never forget.”

**I know this is a crossover episode and not technically a Buffy episode but as a fan that was on team angel and this day that the show creators gave the couple was a major moment of closure for me.

It was a tough choice to make the season 3 episode "Revelations" my top pick overall.  But ultimately it won because it was about the core group of Scoobies and Faith, not just the Bangel ship.  Season 2 made me almost hate Angel and Season 3 made me feel like Buffy's life would always be: wake up, shop, save the word, go to sleep, repeat. Instead the episodes of "Amends" and "Prom" gave her high school moments that every person should get and as a fan I so wanted for her.  I was a high school girl when I first saw these episodes and they so fully captured that heightened emotions of puberty/teenage years and how even though it seems like the end of the world everyday sometimes you get a beautiful moment.  

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Journalists are Wrong: The Best Episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Explained

Since its the 20th anniversary people are actually interested in my favorite topic: Buffy. There are so many lists ranking best and worst episodes and thus far I have not agreed with a single one.

This blog post is different than any of the articles I have read this week naming the top Buffy episode because I don’t play it safe and just choose a random season finale.

It is insane to me that not every list of top Buffy episodes is not littered with season 3 picks.  Every person I know who watched season 3 was glued to the screen every week and completely invested.  Over time what draws me back to season 3 is all the tension and twists.  It was when the show deviated from its one theme that a tiny blonde girl can kill everything that goes bump in the night to being a drama about the complexities of coming of age.

The Best Buffy episode of all time is:
Season 3, Episode 7 “Revelations”

From the first time I watched “Revelations” to when I watch it again today it echoes so many themes that would re-occur season after season.  It has all the characters I love to hate and just love.  But it had a trademark that made a show with an already strange premise great, it was an episode filled with misdirection for the audience. 

The three reasons I love this episode are:

1.  The dichotomy between Faith & Buffy
2. The Scoobies challenging Buffy to choose between them and Angel
3. Giles struggling with his choice to be more of a father than traditional watcher

First: Faith Versus Buffy

Buffy is the all American blonde valley girl archetype.  She is a girlie girl that sleeps with a stuffed pig (Mr. Gordo), pouts when she doesn’t get her way and is often costumed in soft colors to accentuate the perception of female fragility.  In contrast, her slayer counterpart Faith is clade in red lipstick and black leather with her bra straps always showing and that lives in a pretty gross hotel room.  The virgin/whore dichotomy seems personified by the two slayers who have nothing but their roles as “chosen ones” in common.

In the last season Faith jokingly asks if she is “the good slayer now?”  But fans first asked this question four seasons prior when Buffy was lying to everyone and having a secret affair with Angel. 

In this episode Faith has a new watcher arrive named Gwendolyn Post.  Before this point the audience never sees anyone who is dedicated to mentoring Faith.  As a fan meeting this new watcher helped me see Faith’s “Spartan lifestyle” as a badge of honor and question what it means to be “the good slayer.”  20 years ago I was sure the show was going to turn its attention to Faith and move towards Buffy as the villain but by the end of the episode I would learn I was completely wrong.


Forever after the episode aired I resented Buffy’s privilege.  She got the watcher father figure.  She had a mom who cleaned her room and washed blood out of her clothes and an absentee father that bought her any pair of shoes she desired. Faith had no one until the evil mayor would later adopt her and she would move further away from the idea of being a hero.  This is the only episode, until the comics that Buffy seems like a brat who does what she wants while Faith makes hard ethical choices in the face of adversity. 

Second: Friends vs. Angel

Buffy is a special slayer because instead of embracing her secret identity she has both a quasi-normal high school existence and slayer support network via her friends.  But this episode is when everything goes to shit because her friends think she is bionking her previously-homicidal boyfriend.    

Many fans, myself included were on “team Angel” and drawn into the dysfunctional love story of an underage girl and her ex sadistic serial killing hundred year old boyfriend. This episode gave me some perspective that even in spite of the  beautifully framed stolen moments that maybe Buffy and Angel finding their way back to one another was a bad idea.

In the episode, Xander comes across Buffy secretly kissing her vampire ex-boyfriend that hurt everyone only months before; until that moment all the Scoobies thought Angel dead.  The next scene is a classic intervention where Cordelia, Willow, Oz, Xander, and Giles confront Buffy about her lies.  Unlike normal quipy exchanges this was one of the first episodes where the Scoobies all turn on Buffy.  Throughout the show run there is tension in the Scoobie ranks but this is the first time it is so pronounced and justifiably against Buffy.

Thirdly: Watcher versus Father

This episode was key to challenging Giles as a successful watcher.  Yes I know a young watcher named Wesley would later come along and unsuccessfully try to usurp Giles but ended up mostly being comic relief

To the dismay of the stuffy ole’ British watchers council, Giles loves Buffy like a daughter.  When a new watcher appears on the scene in this episode Giles seems genuinely threatened.  And as a fan, I feel like Gwendolyn Post is a pretentious powerful British woman who reminded me a lot of “M” from James Bond.  The female watcher successfully shows up Giles at every turn until we find out her evil intentions and she knocks Giles unconscious.

Previously I mentioned an intervention scene in regards to Buffy’s poor dating choices.  That scene ends when Giles abruptly stops the attacks on Buffy and sends her friends away.  Like a good father, Giles was always the one who always stood up for Buffy.  But when they leave and she thanks him, he curtly reminds her that "Angel tortured me for hours, with pleasure. You have no respect for me or the job I perform."   This was one of least fatherly moments of the show for me, in that moment Giles was all watcher and the look on Buffy’s face echoed my own shock as an at home viewer.

Good Slayer versus Bad Slayer 
Friends versus Lover 
Council Way versus Fatherly Way

This episode was not business as usual in Sunnydale.  “Revelations” is the best episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer because it was the one that converted so many of us into lifelong fans.

Thursday, May 12, 2016

GUEST BLOGGER: 7-year Old Explains Why You Should be Kind to Animals

My son has written his first blog post that he would like for me to share online.  He wrote it on paper & then I helped him type, as he dictated.  I think I might have another vegan in our family in the future. 

My First Blog Post: "Good Animals" 

Hi I’m Nathan. I think you should not kill or hurt animals. They are innocent. I know you should not kill them.  They can be nice.  They will be mean though.  Just do not bother a rattle snake.

I love all animals they are really fun, especially pandas.  Pandas have lots of good things about them like they are chubby.  They are fun, cool, and they don’t bite.  I will get one.  Animals are nice, not mean, they are fun, I love them so much.  

Care for animals, live for them, love for them. 

My First Blog Post - May 12, 2016

My Rescue Dog "Ru" 

Monday, March 28, 2016


I am super grateful to the Bakersfield Californian for covering the CSU strike and publishing my recent letter to the editor.  Because of understandable word limits several important points were removed.  For clarification, here is the unedited letter I submitted: 


On April 13th, California State University Bakersfield faculty will take part in a system wide CSU strike.  The Chancellor and several CSU leaders have publicly commented on their concern regarding risks associated with this legally sanctioned strike.  As a mother, educator, and lifelong Bakersfield resident, safety has been an utmost priority as I have helped organize this event.  And though a peaceful event has been planned, I still continue to be asked by community members and students if I am afraid?

The honest answer is “yes.”  I am afraid but it has nothing to do with the looming teacher picket lines. 

A few days ago I listened to testimony from a selfless CSU Long Beach Sociology professor who physically removed a male student wielding a knife from her classroom.  I met her at an equity conference with college instructors from all over the state who listened as she vividly recalled the fear she experienced for her students.  Within moments other CSU professors stood to share their stories of physical threats and violence they have faced in their classrooms.  The meeting ran far past its scheduled ending time, and still not all those waiting to tell their stories of peril were heard. 

I did not reach for the microphone at this event, but this is not because I have not been threatened as a teacher.  However, the point of this letter is not to insinuate that teaching in the CSU is always unsafe.  When K-14 school safety is discussed, the fact that teachers put their lives on the line when threats of violence occur is rarely mentioned.  Coincidently, now that teachers are prepared walk out of their classrooms if our contract is not settled, finally “our safety” is becoming a part of the conversation. CSU Vice Chancellor for Human Resources Lori Lamb reported at the recent Board of Trustees meeting they are preparing to protect everyone during the strike with the maximum police presence, 

“Our primary focus on campuses is always the health and safety of our students, faculty, and staff.  That will not change during a strike.  Our university police and campus security will operate at full capacity to assure our campuses are safe and healthy environments for all.” 

Over my last 10 years teaching at CSU, Bakersfield I have sometimes felt intimidated and even afraid, but it has never once stopped me from entering my classroom.  Similarly, no fear-mongering will stop me from walking out of my classroom to improve my working conditions on April 13th. I will always stand up, so that one day maybe my daughter will not have to.

My awesome daughter