100 More Days (aka 200 days)

Day 179: Here we go again, Here we go again

I vote more Firefly? Browncoats FTW

The downside of playing for 100 consecutive days of gaming to save our marriage is that we played even when we were cranky, tired, annoyed, or uninterested.  In this blog I have talked a lot about my range of emotions and even when I could barely stand I would play.  I have to admit the last few weeks our enthusiasm for gaming together has been waning.  The routine of playing daily quickly dissolved into fitting a game in a few times a week.  The last few weeks we have had a lot of conversations about what comes next?

But let me back up and explain the awkwardness that jump-started the conversation.

Tired, Awkward and Missing Kiddos 

Marriage Reboot without Children (Eeek)

The in-laws recently took the kiddos to the “happiest place on earth” for over a week.  We live in So Cal but the in-laws in Florida so they did a fly by and picked up kiddos and took them to Disneyworld.  The kids were having the time of their lives chasing Doofenshmirtz through the Epcot center me and the hubs were left really alone for the first time since our marriage reboot. 

When Shit is Weird Pack Your PS4

Every parent will admit that a week reprieve from parenting is nothing to scoff at.  But when you are redefining your relationship the kids leaving can make everything, well, really uncomfortable.  The day after the kids left, I had a union meeting and the hubs tagged along.  This was our first hotel stay without our kids.  We knew it might be difficult so we packed the PS4.

We arrived late (around 10 pm) and prepared to immediately set up our system.  But of course to add to our turmoil our four-star hotel assigned us a room and TV with no HDMI port.  The hubs seemed uneasy so I called the front desk, concierge, and hotel engineering office.  To add insult to injury each guy I talked to explained to me where the HDMI  port would be on my TV (you know, since I have no penis of course this entire problem is obviously that I don’t know how to use a TV).  When the last guy finally understood that I just needed a new TV we finally got the problem resolved around 1am.  So before collapsing into bed we turned out Magicka and killed a few monsters to calm our nerves.

PS4 Hotel Vaca like a Boss 

What Comes Next

My take-away is my PS4 is awesome and that I vocalized that I have been surprised by the genre of games that I have enjoyed playing on it.  During this project we have played a lot of games but no video games entirely through.  So we decided this will be our next conquest.  We plan to choose one story-driven PS4 game and in 100 days play through it together.

We were very scientific about our game choice.  We made pros and cons of various games (ex: Witcher, Tomb Raider, Wofienstien, Last of Us).  We watched gameplay, read ESRB, and even got on the message boards to see what would be worth three months of our life.  I know at this point you are frantically swiping ahead on your smart phone screen to see what we chose but you will just have to keep reading.

Learning from our last 100 days, we decided we don’t have to play every day but that we won’t play the chosen game solo.  After 20 years of friendship, 12 years of marriage, and 200 days of blogging and games I am still finding new ways every day to love the hubs.  Here is hoping the next 100 days has more good days than bad and I will find a new a different way to love games.

Proof We Need a New Game ASAP

Unashamed Button Masher

Day 176: Gaming without Tantrums

Within many aspects of my life I am fairly accomplished person but I really do not like to fail.  I will be the first to admit that I am feisty and I am not always proud of the way I react when I am not automatically successful at a task.  Yoga has helped to calm my ego but when I am with the hubs there is less censorship and accountability because he is my person.  Simply put, if I am going to be a brat when I suck at a game it is usually while I am playing with the hubs.  I know it is terrible to admit in writing that with my partner I am my worst self but this is usually true.  The implication of my limited range when it comes to game controls has been a major factor in our play and communication as a couple.

BUTTON MASHER EXPOSED

Twilight Magicka session in Hotel 

For decades I have been able to get through gaming habits with hotkeys and button mashing.  The hubs recently (yesterday) admitted that he has strategically chosen/encouraged co-op games based on the complexity of the controls because he knew I just wasn’t good enough for more advanced games. 

After six months of co-op gaming we have been introducing new challenges to see if I can overcome my lifelong habit of mashing.  I shamefully admit that using both analog sticks is still unnatural to me but I am getting there.  The first game that has really started to push the boundaries of my skill has been Magicka.  

KILLING MY HUSBAND

As I mentioned in a previous post we starting our 100 days with Diablo and moving on to games like Helldivers is tuff because all of a sudden there is friendly fire.  The idea that not just your character can die but you can kill your party requires much more collaboration and focus sans button mashing.  Magicka has both friendly fire, new spells every level (some that suck), and forces me to use both analog sticks simultaneously whether I like it or not.  I cannot be successful in this game if I just mash buttons but the satisfaction of killing monsters together has increased ten-fold because things are just hard enough.

Healing Spell Kills Skeletons (Duh)

Dr. CCB & MrNinjaman in Magicka 

Tip of the Day: When it comes to married gaming its okay to start out easy but always try to be better (as long as you are both having fun).  Also, if your partner is not at your same level of gaming don’t berate them.  Instead take a page from the hubs book and ease them into gaming with quality titles that are within their current range.  Most of all—it takes time but things do get better.  

PWNED by my Six Year Old

Day 149: Unpack the PS4 first

My kids are having a hard time adjusting to the end of the school year (my lil’ geeks love their school) and to moving homes so abruptly.  Our move was sudden and the kids have been distressed about their belongings being in garbage bags.  There is not a single room in my home that is unpacked and not under construction (my kitchen is almost done just missing half of the floor).  With all the stress and woes that come with the end of the school year and moving we have still made time to kill some (very few) but some bugs and set up our high speed internet.

Kitchen halfway done 

Laundry Room Paint Done 

 A FAMILY WITHOUT INTERNET CANNOT STAND

Our previous residence had spotty cell reception and rock built into several of the interior walls that disrupted our wifi connection.  Even with high speed internet and two top of the line routers our connection was not consistent.  I would often hide my daughter’s kindle so she wouldn’t steal bandwidth while I was trying to play a game (I know, I know I can be a shitty mom sometimes). 

Our awesome neighbors at the new house let us siphon Internet for a few days but this was not adequate or viable long-term solution.  The hubs called our local service provider to tell them we were moving and the next day they came out and hooked us up.  The craziest part of this story was the service guy was 10 minutes early (we weren’t even home when he arrived).  We were unpacking games and anime and quickly discovered the guy was a fellow nerd who explained why we should upgrade and how to maximize our service.  Um…this guys is basically my hero.  Needless to say I have not had to hide my kids kindle for 2 days straight.

THE CON ARTIST

My little PS4 Con Artist 

I am not trying to diminish the fact that my kids have actually had a hard time adjusting with our move.  But my son is totally using his baby brown eyes to milk it for all its worth.  The hubs and I discovered he has been logging 3-4 hours of PS4 time a day by conning adults into “playing with him because he is lonely” (cue teary eyes here).  My teenage sister, neighbor, hubs, and myself have all fallen prey to this adorable kid without realizing we are each getting conned.  No wonder unpacking is taking so darn long.

MASTER BEDROOM

So the master bedroom needs so much work I cannot even begin to describe to you.  I love that the kids don’t call it the master bedroom but “mommy’s room.”  Currently all that is in that room is my bathtub sofa, yoga props, our 42 inch high def television and my PS4 system and games.  The room is not practical for anything at this time but playing PS4 which though not ideal is working for us.

My blogging and gaming have been inconsistent but they are not abandoned completely.  Now that I am on to my 6-year olds manipulations I will get some married time with my controller.

Me n Kiddos on Mother's Day just bc

Gear is Better than Roses

Day 37 (repost from Day 2): Virtual and RL Trauma

This morning was a teacher in service morning and that means I can’t take my kids to school until 10:30 am.  Though I did have plans to drag my kids on errands with me instead I spent over an hour just watching them play Diablo 3 on the PS4.  I was putting away dishes and then I just stopped to watch for a moment and before I knew it I was dragging them to the car because we had to get them to class.

It made me grateful that I am reflecting on this 100-day experiment because I forgot how much I lose myself in games.

Patches Can’t Fix Everything

When the mind experiences trauma, it is hard not to dwell.  Actually enjoying or focusing on day-to-day matters seems impossible.  I know it is not impossible but I also know that it just feels that way at the most unexpected times.  In many ways internal noise is like frustration with a video game.

When a game glitches it makes everyone crazy; controllers are thrown; there is online trolling for solutions, and venting.  It is hard not to hold on to that one annoying moment even though a patch will fix it the next day.  But not everything is fixable with a patch.  If a game is just bad, sometimes we still keep in our cabinet and save our progress on a hardrive just in case someday we get bored and don’t want to start over again.  Trauma can be a little glitch or a bad game but in either event it is not worth giving it too much time from my day or space on my hard drive.

I know its pathetic that I keep fantasizing that Blizzard is going to offer a patch for my life that I can just download direct to my brain and play past all the bad stuff.  Instead I have to consciously remind myself to stop trolling and occupy my mind/ hard drive with better games and memories: like watching my kids side-by-side on the couch playing Diablo and giggling at their Barbarians bikini mid-drift.

Playing: Diablo 3

System: PS4

Developer: Blizzard

Reflection: Because Wednesday evenings are filled with catechism, daycare, and homework, time for games is sparse.  In the morning before we even left the house we set out to complete one quick mission in Diablo 3 that took less than 10 minutes.  As I said in my first post I can’t change the big picture or deal with all the hard stuff in RL, but 10 minutes of hack and slash and teleporting back to town is manageable.

For those of you who don’t know me, Blizzard was instrumental in helping me decide to marry my husband.  After anything Blizzard, the most romantic game I ever played was Animal Crossing.  I remember waking up and first thing turning on my Gamecube excited to read my new love notes on the message board.  The first Diablo and WoW have both been a mechanism to love one another with gifts, and healing, and time together even when we were apart.  Yesterday while in game, I walked right by the mailbox in town and my hubs had to remind me to “check the mail.”  He had left me gear that I am not a high enough level to equip, it was both thoughtful and a great motivation to keep leveling up so my warrior can look even more awesome. 

Today I offer this tip: For the gamers out there that are in love with a fellow geek…send gear, its better than flowers.