Day 35: Gamer Gate and Gone Girl the Game
My last blog post was about how digital spaces do not
replace RL interaction. But today I want
to illuminate that what happens online does matter, it matters a whole lot.
Getting Punched by
Gamer Gate
Yesterday, I guest lectured in a Women & Gender Studies
course on the subject of sex and video games.
I had a chance to throw some Extra Credits, Colbert and TED talks in the
mix. During the presentation I surprised
myself, because even though it has been a while, every time I watch Anita Sarkeesian talk about Gamer Gate in her TED talk I am uncomfortable. This powerful feminist is clearly pained as
she discusses the virtual threats of violence she has suffered just because
she deconstructs problematic representations in games. I heart me some video games but there are
some games that just disgust me. But I
digress really the part that stuck out to me was my emotional reaction to a
discussion of bullying, hate, and virtual violence against women. Because men think that their behavior online
does not impact RL when it really hurts women, even a confident kick-ass
feminist, just as much as getting punched in the face. When you sit at your computer and type the words
that a woman deserves to be raped, murdered, or beaten no one is laughing,
certainly not the woman who has to live with those threats. Because even without those words being typed
those are real life realities for women everywhere.
Women still have reasons to be afraid when we walk to our
cars in the darkness. More women have
armed themselves for fear of both the predators they know and the ones they
don’t . To emphasize this reality, a
cardinal rule of prostitution is that women don’t drive to locations because
having a car increases the chance they will be beaten or murdered ten fold. When you joke on the internet about killing,
cheating, maiming, raping, or beating women, we feel fear, because everyday we
have to live in a patriarchal society where violence against us is our reality.
And I did not mean to say that women are not culpable of
nefarious virtual behavior that bleed into the margins of RL because yes,
women can be jerks too.
Gone Girl and a
Gamer Scorned
Spoiler Alert: If you
have not seen it stop reading because this post totally ruins the
movie.
The movie Gone Girl is a roller coaster because although the
main protagonist Amy is a crazy person, there are many moments during the movie
that I empathize with her. As the story
unfolds, Amy describes this perfect moment when her husband wipes the sugar
from her lips as when she found her soulmate.
Later in the movie she follows her husband and finds him in the same
exact intimate moment, wiping sugar from the lips of a younger woman he is cheating with. Yup that guy is a total jerk, if you are
going to cheat at least come up with some new moves. I hazard to write this next section because
maybe my reaction can be attributed to being raised in a patriarchal culture
with distorted understandings of relationships and romance. But people, people
like me, want moments that belong to them. And when we have to share we might just loose
our sh*t like Amy, but hopefully not that bad.
Because it was Lincoln’s birthday, and the hubs is a
teacher, the whole clan was home on Monday.
It may not surprise folks that we spent most of the day playing
games. At one moment in my PJ’s I
mentioned to my partner that I am glad a specific video game we play together
belongs to me. After a few hours of
growing tension between the two of us, he admitted that over the last year he
actually played that game with another woman.
I do give him credit for fessing up, that games don’t just belong to me but
it doesn’t make it sting less.
Our friendship, our marriage, my sanity, and our blog all
are based on the idea that games might be our salvation. But like Amy, it is hard to hold on to hope
when you discover the things in your life that were never really yours to begin
with.
Valentine’s day is just around the corner but instead of
buying chocolate, or flowers, or diamonds, or silly hallmark cards give someone
a moment. Give them a moment, or a game,
that belongs just them. Give someone a moment, and never take it away or you deserve whatever you have coming.
Decided it's time the kids learn the joy of RPGs @privateerpress #IKRPG #Geekdads pic.twitter.com/gVb2AYcKF5
— MrNinjaman (@JohnRBoone) February 10, 2015
Stalking Update: The hubs was re-tweeted by privateer press
for his new obsession with an ongoing family RPG that he is slated to blog
about sometime soon. I will admit I am a
jealous of his retweet because I am still stalking Wil Wheaton in the hopes we
can get him to Bakersfield to play some board games and I feel like I am losing
momentum.
