Living in the Shadow of a Kick A$$ Wife

Day 41: With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility

I cannot get into my partners head and now that I know there were lots of secrets not having super powers is making me crazy. 

The Wind Beneath my Wings

Despite problems in my relationship, 2014 was the most successful year of my life.  I joined the kid’s school PTA board, passed the level 1 Iyengar yoga certification, completed my Doctoral dissertation, presented at 4 national conferences, got published, got a PS4, was elected to CTA assembly, was re-elected to CFA executive board.  But my favorite memory was kissing my husband at the top of the Empire state building.  Yup my life was awesome.

It has often been remarked that I am a force of nature and do not know how to do things halfway.  Lately, I have been thinking about what it is like to be married to someone described as a “force” (aka me).  Now that everything is falling apart, it is difficult not to feel that my ambition, success, drive, and openness did not sabotage my relationship.  Then I remember: that professional women should not dim their bright light because someone they love lives in their shadow.

An Open Book

For the last 42 days I have been writing about games, emotions, and my relationship.  The blog is a means to love the hubs, vent, and to keep fighting for my relationship with game play.  He is an intensely private person whereas I am open book (I enjoy games, yoga, whiskey, and the hubs).  While I am trying so hard to be better gamer, wife and support to him sometimes I worry that my blog is yet another way that I am trying too hard.  I want the hubs to be happy.  However, I am not going to stop trying; trying is what I do.  But hiding and secrecy is what he does/did.  Do we both need to change?

Playing the Wife  

Playing games and loving my hubs are the two things that I used to think were easy.  I could do them without thinking, without qualifying, without trying.  Now, I question everything.  Is my sh*t talking and crazy competitive streak too much? When we game do we need co-op only games?  Should I blog my every thought?  Should I say my every thought?  Should I strive to be a docile, obedient, and submissive wife?  If you attended my wedding or have ever spent five minutes in a room with me you know that the last question was sarcasm.  But I do know for shir it would be easy for him to walk away from our marriage and find a woman with much less professional success; I suck at playing the wife but I am usually pretty darn good at everything else that I do.

Updates

The hubs got me Buffy the Vampire Slayer board game in the mail circa the early 2000’s.  I cannot wait to blog about playing this game. 

February 2015 has been a big month, earlier this week I was trolled on google+ for being a “feminist tool” and then re-tweeted as a “dirty harlot.”  I think these trolls were intended as insults but they totally made my day.  As a couple we both completely geeked out when we were re-tweeted by both privateer press and TableTop. 

It is surreal that people are actually reading our blog, even though Wil Wheaton continues to ignore us.  The comments section of the blog is starting to populate with others who identify with games as a way to save a relationship.  Please keep a lookout on the blog later this week for my 6-year old son/ Wheaton fanboy, Nate.  He is working with his 7-year old sister, Inara, on a video plea for Wheaton to come to Bakersfield.  I am not sure Wheaton can say no to all this cuteness but just in case heckle him in your free time.