Unashamed Button Masher

Day 176: Gaming without Tantrums

Within many aspects of my life I am fairly accomplished person but I really do not like to fail.  I will be the first to admit that I am feisty and I am not always proud of the way I react when I am not automatically successful at a task.  Yoga has helped to calm my ego but when I am with the hubs there is less censorship and accountability because he is my person.  Simply put, if I am going to be a brat when I suck at a game it is usually while I am playing with the hubs.  I know it is terrible to admit in writing that with my partner I am my worst self but this is usually true.  The implication of my limited range when it comes to game controls has been a major factor in our play and communication as a couple.

BUTTON MASHER EXPOSED

Twilight Magicka session in Hotel 

For decades I have been able to get through gaming habits with hotkeys and button mashing.  The hubs recently (yesterday) admitted that he has strategically chosen/encouraged co-op games based on the complexity of the controls because he knew I just wasn’t good enough for more advanced games. 

After six months of co-op gaming we have been introducing new challenges to see if I can overcome my lifelong habit of mashing.  I shamefully admit that using both analog sticks is still unnatural to me but I am getting there.  The first game that has really started to push the boundaries of my skill has been Magicka.  

KILLING MY HUSBAND

As I mentioned in a previous post we starting our 100 days with Diablo and moving on to games like Helldivers is tuff because all of a sudden there is friendly fire.  The idea that not just your character can die but you can kill your party requires much more collaboration and focus sans button mashing.  Magicka has both friendly fire, new spells every level (some that suck), and forces me to use both analog sticks simultaneously whether I like it or not.  I cannot be successful in this game if I just mash buttons but the satisfaction of killing monsters together has increased ten-fold because things are just hard enough.

Healing Spell Kills Skeletons (Duh)

Dr. CCB & MrNinjaman in Magicka 

Tip of the Day: When it comes to married gaming its okay to start out easy but always try to be better (as long as you are both having fun).  Also, if your partner is not at your same level of gaming don’t berate them.  Instead take a page from the hubs book and ease them into gaming with quality titles that are within their current range.  Most of all—it takes time but things do get better.  

Can Video Games Save a Marriage?

Day 10: Doing it in Bed 

My parenting and career are cutting into my game time.  Returning to teaching and being a parent in 2015 is starting to wear me down.  Yesterday I set the challenge to my partner to bring gaming to me in my warm comfy bed.  I was so tired and unsure how long I would stay awake.  He downloaded the game Forbidden Island for the iPad.  It was the perfect end to a chaotic day and I just lost myself in the challenge of beating the game together. 

Game: Forbidden Island

System: iPad

Developer: Button Mash Games/ GameWright

Reflection: Losing myself in playing games with my husband is the entire point of this experiment.  Once playing games becomes I chore and not a shared moment: then we have failed. But I truly do believe that committing to play games is the thing that will save my relationship.  

  

Can video games save every marriage?

Therapists and self-help books remind couples to spend time together to improve their relationship.  But thus far none that I have come across recommend playing video games as a way to improve marriage.  I was surprised to discover there are a lot of blogs and websites dedicated to how video games harm relationships. 

Jane McGonigal reminds us games can be used as tools for solutions through simulation and social stimulation.  I agree with Jane whole-heartedly but I will be the first to admit that games can’t save every marriage.  But I know this one thing to be true, that when we game together we are happy, surprised, joyful, and present (insert other awesome adjective here).

Guidelines for Gaming to Save Your Marriage 

Here are 3 basic guidelines for good candidates to replicate this experiment.

You both have to be gamers.

You both have to want to be married (to each other).

You have to use games as one tool, not the only tool to connect.

  

To Blog or NOT to Blog 

Deciding to blog was my decision and my partner has to deal with the fallout of that decision.  For better or worse, sometimes he finds out for the first time what I think when he reads it online.  Ultimately the worst part about my blog is that it makes our very personal struggle as a couple open to the public.

This is a great time to say that the specifics of our marital struggles are not anyone else’s business.  And though I initiated the conversation by openly admitting that we are having problems that is not an open invitation for you pry into our pain.  No one is entitled to anyone else’s pain and we are sharing our journey but not freely explaining the bad choices that put us on this path. 

Through Sickness and in Health  

An online journal for me is a mechanism to hold myself accountable.  My blog is a way to ensure that I am actually committing, all the way to every single one of the 100 days.  No matter what else happens in RL, no matter how hard or painful it gets, I will still play games every single day with the person I married.