Unashamed Button Masher

Day 176: Gaming without Tantrums

Within many aspects of my life I am fairly accomplished person but I really do not like to fail.  I will be the first to admit that I am feisty and I am not always proud of the way I react when I am not automatically successful at a task.  Yoga has helped to calm my ego but when I am with the hubs there is less censorship and accountability because he is my person.  Simply put, if I am going to be a brat when I suck at a game it is usually while I am playing with the hubs.  I know it is terrible to admit in writing that with my partner I am my worst self but this is usually true.  The implication of my limited range when it comes to game controls has been a major factor in our play and communication as a couple.

BUTTON MASHER EXPOSED

Twilight Magicka session in Hotel 

For decades I have been able to get through gaming habits with hotkeys and button mashing.  The hubs recently (yesterday) admitted that he has strategically chosen/encouraged co-op games based on the complexity of the controls because he knew I just wasn’t good enough for more advanced games. 

After six months of co-op gaming we have been introducing new challenges to see if I can overcome my lifelong habit of mashing.  I shamefully admit that using both analog sticks is still unnatural to me but I am getting there.  The first game that has really started to push the boundaries of my skill has been Magicka.  

KILLING MY HUSBAND

As I mentioned in a previous post we starting our 100 days with Diablo and moving on to games like Helldivers is tuff because all of a sudden there is friendly fire.  The idea that not just your character can die but you can kill your party requires much more collaboration and focus sans button mashing.  Magicka has both friendly fire, new spells every level (some that suck), and forces me to use both analog sticks simultaneously whether I like it or not.  I cannot be successful in this game if I just mash buttons but the satisfaction of killing monsters together has increased ten-fold because things are just hard enough.

Healing Spell Kills Skeletons (Duh)

Dr. CCB & MrNinjaman in Magicka 

Tip of the Day: When it comes to married gaming its okay to start out easy but always try to be better (as long as you are both having fun).  Also, if your partner is not at your same level of gaming don’t berate them.  Instead take a page from the hubs book and ease them into gaming with quality titles that are within their current range.  Most of all—it takes time but things do get better.  

The Laundry Goblins

Gamer mom fights back against laundry goblins

Day 51: May the Odds be Ever in Your Favor

As every person with small children understands, the laundry wars are real and there are casualties.  Last week my partner purchased new socks for the kids because the unpairing, holes, and growing feet overwhelmed his senses.  But my resolve rarely allows me to wave a white flag at Target; instead I will wash and fold each stitch to its maximum capacity.  Yesterday, I realized that the two baskets of sorted clothing were not waiting to be washed but instead just needed to be put away.  Well played laundry goblins, well played.

Running Diablo and Laundry at Midnight

Last night the hubs played Diablo until almost midnight while I held the line of defenses against the laundry goblins.  Even though we faced different foes being together in the trenches is an intimate situation.  Having risen from bed at first dawn our joints and eyes ached from exhaustion.  We kept going, executing rehearsed tasks and taking our bodies to their maximum capacity.

The Next Mission

Sleep deprived selfie

I just received a call that one of my kiddos is feeling ill.  That means that the laundry goblins called in re-enforcements and I must equip my Lysol can.

Tip: Marriage and gaming are not for the faint of heart.  It takes vinegar, resolve, and Lysol.  But even on the longest, monotonous days, you can still level up as a couple.  It is the days you face foes like laundry goblins that you find out what you really made of.  49 days to go.    

Gear is Better than Roses

Day 37 (repost from Day 2): Virtual and RL Trauma

This morning was a teacher in service morning and that means I can’t take my kids to school until 10:30 am.  Though I did have plans to drag my kids on errands with me instead I spent over an hour just watching them play Diablo 3 on the PS4.  I was putting away dishes and then I just stopped to watch for a moment and before I knew it I was dragging them to the car because we had to get them to class.

It made me grateful that I am reflecting on this 100-day experiment because I forgot how much I lose myself in games.

Patches Can’t Fix Everything

When the mind experiences trauma, it is hard not to dwell.  Actually enjoying or focusing on day-to-day matters seems impossible.  I know it is not impossible but I also know that it just feels that way at the most unexpected times.  In many ways internal noise is like frustration with a video game.

When a game glitches it makes everyone crazy; controllers are thrown; there is online trolling for solutions, and venting.  It is hard not to hold on to that one annoying moment even though a patch will fix it the next day.  But not everything is fixable with a patch.  If a game is just bad, sometimes we still keep in our cabinet and save our progress on a hardrive just in case someday we get bored and don’t want to start over again.  Trauma can be a little glitch or a bad game but in either event it is not worth giving it too much time from my day or space on my hard drive.

I know its pathetic that I keep fantasizing that Blizzard is going to offer a patch for my life that I can just download direct to my brain and play past all the bad stuff.  Instead I have to consciously remind myself to stop trolling and occupy my mind/ hard drive with better games and memories: like watching my kids side-by-side on the couch playing Diablo and giggling at their Barbarians bikini mid-drift.

Playing: Diablo 3

System: PS4

Developer: Blizzard

Reflection: Because Wednesday evenings are filled with catechism, daycare, and homework, time for games is sparse.  In the morning before we even left the house we set out to complete one quick mission in Diablo 3 that took less than 10 minutes.  As I said in my first post I can’t change the big picture or deal with all the hard stuff in RL, but 10 minutes of hack and slash and teleporting back to town is manageable.

For those of you who don’t know me, Blizzard was instrumental in helping me decide to marry my husband.  After anything Blizzard, the most romantic game I ever played was Animal Crossing.  I remember waking up and first thing turning on my Gamecube excited to read my new love notes on the message board.  The first Diablo and WoW have both been a mechanism to love one another with gifts, and healing, and time together even when we were apart.  Yesterday while in game, I walked right by the mailbox in town and my hubs had to remind me to “check the mail.”  He had left me gear that I am not a high enough level to equip, it was both thoughtful and a great motivation to keep leveling up so my warrior can look even more awesome. 

Today I offer this tip: For the gamers out there that are in love with a fellow geek…send gear, its better than flowers.   

Why I don't just play games for my husband.

Day 23: I can't breathe, but I can play. 

As I write this sentence it is officially two months since I discovered my best friend was keeping secrets.  I made the choice shortly thereafter to begin this experiment, 100 days of gaming, and chose to play my way through the unknown.

As a successful professional woman, I spend my life devoted to my family, and dedicated to my career.  With so many delicate plates to keep spinning it is a wonder I find time for games and blogging.  Admittedly, I am slowly becoming accustomed to the sound of breaking porcelain.  Some have recently questioned if the only reason I play games is to keep my husband happy?  The truth is that some days I play out of obligation, some days I play just for him, other days I cannot wait to abandon RL and have the only challenge in my world for a few hours to move past a goblin or an orc.

Yoga with my adorable kids.

Yoga in spite of my kids. 

 Yesterday was a long day that began at 4am after only a few hours of restless sleep.  After teaching from 7:30am -2pm,  I went to a grueling yoga class, had yoga playtime with the kiddos and then waited for my Diablo date.  Even though I have the flu, and worked all day, and the kids were sleeping I stayed awake.  But why? 

My motives for playing are not really as important as the fact that when I play I feel joy.  Often when we play there are these moments of perfect synchronicity that have nothing to do with skill and everything to do with friendship.  I find these connections harder to identify in RL but so easy to stumble across in fantasy realms. 

Even when glowing arrows are gone, and we are exploring a terrain, our characters never stop moving along side-by-side without us ever speaking a word in RL.  A new boss appears in the screen and I realize I am holding my breathe, and then look to my left and realize he is doing the same (btw Blizzard graphics are so effing beautiful).  The exhilaration of fighting past a cache of demons and laughing raucously and not even having to look to know he is grinning too.

These moments are why I play.

Even though two months have passed, the betrayal is so visceral that I feel like I am suffocating.  All the time I feel like I cannot breathe, but the chasm created by all the lies becomes less daunting each time I pick up my controller.