Day 4: Choosing Games
Not Pain
This entry is not meant as a defense of my decision to stay
married at this time. It is a chance for
me to understand my own thought process on the matter of choosing to game.
When warning signs appear in a relationship it is difficult
to have perspective and be objective.
This blog is about marital gaming but it is also about
relationships. Because what are
relationships but a series of small interactions that help us connect, relate,
and live our lives? Games can be a
powerful tool for friendship, intimacy, and play. I am in painful and uncharted territory but
when it comes to games I know the jargon and understand virtual worlds.
After meeting my partner 21 years ago, and almost 12 years of
marriage I am learning a new language to understand my relationship. During this phase of our marital crisis there
are two ideas that resonate with me the most pain shopping and the dance
of confrontation.
Pain shopping is
when a person examines and inquires on matters that do not bring healing. For control freaks like me it feels like
investigating helps to make informed decisions, but really pain shopping is
just giving pain free rent in your brain.
As I mentioned in other blog posts, I do not enjoy shopping.
Dance of confrontation
is starting one-sided arguments as an opportunity to vent and berate another
person to regain some sense of control. I
am not saying that arguments, communication, and fights are not important. But when you are in the midst of a tragedy
its easy to just lash out instead of communicate.
Before I started this blog I spent a lot of time unknowingly
subjecting myself to negative behaviors.
But now instead I choose to play games, not to avoid the problem but during
the time in between dealing, I want
to give myself something to do that is healthier. I am blogging about gaming with my husband to
remind myself that there is good not just pain left in our relationship.
Laughter and Change
System: YouTube
Developer: Giant Bomb
Reflection: The Game of the Year for Giant Bomb is hysterically funny and allowed us to enjoy both
game time and cuddling. Trolling through
our old blog entries reminded me that GFW and Giant Bomb have
been part of our gaming relationship for a long time.
Just because things still exist doesn’t mean that they remain static. Giant Bomb has transformed over the last 6 years with new additions, tragedies, and evolving transmedia formats. Giant Bomb has the same name and goal but it is not the same podcast it was when I listened before – Giant Bombcast and the guy I married can both still make me laugh.
Just because things still exist doesn’t mean that they remain static. Giant Bomb has transformed over the last 6 years with new additions, tragedies, and evolving transmedia formats. Giant Bomb has the same name and goal but it is not the same podcast it was when I listened before – Giant Bombcast and the guy I married can both still make me laugh.
This blog has existed for more than 6 years and during that time my relationship and life have undergone major changes. I don't know what other changes are on the horizon and I have no plan to make those decisions today. Today I plan to keep gaming and I will continue to reflect on what I learn from that process whatever outcome that may be.
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