Glitter vs Jem Part 2

Day 53: Should I cut and color my gray hair part 2?

My next few blog posts will break from reflecting on married gaming.  Instead, I am soliciting input from my readers about my hair quandary.  I will tell the story of my own hair journey and ask for input and advice on whether I should cut off my long glittery/silver locks and dye my hair an outrageous color? 

All natural waves and gray

Flat ironed rogue strip

PRO GRAY HAIR: Rogue and Real Hair

Thanks to genetics, I started going gray when I was in my late teens and I used to color my hair every month because that is what you do.  But in 2012 I started my doctoral program and to cut family expenses I decided to forego my one beauty treatment.  The 80 dollars cost converts to a new video game a month and it was easier to stop than you would imagine.  I was pleased when a defined streak of gray appeared that looked much like Rogue from X-men.  Over the last 3 years I get regular commentary on my hair from men and women of all ages.  People either hate or love my gray hair.

In 2013 I was in a Vespa collision that shattered my left wrist and forearm.  After surgery and subsequent recovery I could not wash or style my own hair.  I was forced to accept the natural waves and frizz that can be tamed with a few spritzes introduced by my mother-in-law.  With only one working hand I still maintained a 4.0 GPA in my doctoral program and fully embraced my natural hair color and wave. 

Fast-forward to now.  I am conflicted between keeping my God-given glitter or going for a Jem-style? In some small measure I want to feel sexy, and trendy, and truly outrageous.  The superficial voice has been long over-ruled by my own strong sense of self that thinks I do not have to buy into social norms of feminine beauty.  A major change on the outside will not make me a better or different gamer, professor, wife, or person.

PRO GEM HAIR: Grandma’s Greatest Regret

I have been surprised that so many people in real life are critical of my gray, but online there have been very few people that advocate for a hair change.

Unlike the hubs who loves to spend money and crazy spoils our kiddos I am a frugal person.  I worry that my resistance to change is less of feminist principle and more related to my inability to be frivolous and fun when it comes to myself. Even if I change my hair I will never be a girly-girl, I would just be a gamer geek mom with a new haircut. 

The loudest opponent of my gray hair is my grandmother.  In her prime my grandmother had at least 5 different color beehives, a large collection of hair extensions, and infamously hid from my grandfather that she was not a real redhead until after their marriage.  She recently shared that one of her greatest regrets was never having platinum blonde hair. I hate to be seventy years old and sharing with her same the regret.

But then again maybe I will wish I spent more money on yoga and beer and less on hair color. 

Glitter vs Jem Part 1

 Day 52: Should I cut and color my gray hair? 

My next few blog posts will break from reflecting on married gaming.  Instead, I am soliciting input from my readers about my hair quandary.   I will tell the story of my own hair journey and ask for input and advice on whether I should cut off my long glittery/silver locks and dye my hair an outrageous color? 

My streak of glitter 

Truly, Truly, Truly Outrageous

When I was a little girl I was obsessed with Ghost Busters.  Who am I kidding I am still totally obsessed and cannot wait for the kickstarter board game and upcoming movie reboot.  But when I was a kiddo my play dates were filled with talk of marshmallow men and evil paintings.  Living next door to my grandparents was the Egon to my Venkmen, a lifelong friend who had two eco-packs.  Together we regularly fought the forces of evil and collected old fireworks and bugs along Vassar Street.  Other than my eco-pack, I never really gave any thought to my attire or gender while pinning our bug collections to a bulletin board. 

I was mostly a tomboy, but Saturday mornings were the exception when I was transfixed by Jem and the Holagrams.  To me Jem was kick-a$$ pink version of Gene Simmons.  Long before I wanted to be a college professor I was fantasizing about having crazy pink hair and jewelry that connected me to a super computer. It just occurred to me in the last 24-hours I could totally have pink hair and super jewelry.

Bad Hair

When I was 16 my identical twin entered beauty school.  It was around this time that I first realized that most young women don’t just come to school with the way their hair naturally looks, they spend time manipulating and styling it (I still prefer sleep).  It would be another decade before my twin would bequeath me a flat iron, barrel curling iron, and hair dryer.  I have always known how to French braid or create a ponytail but in my 33 years I have only recently attempted to “style” my hair because I feel crappy about my appearance.  Hair is considerably important to the way women both perceive themselves and are perceived.  My hair has always been a way for me to say: I like myself, even if I don’t fit into your hypersexualized, younger, better version of what I could look like.   

Buffy Hair

Twelve years ago, and inspired by a season 6 episode of Buffy "Gone" and I cut off all of my hair.  This is actually a great story about how being married to me can be unpredictable. 

I was watching Buffy and working on my masters thesis, as a sidenote the topic of that paper was sex in video games.  Buffy was playing in the background and I realized I was pulling on my hair.  I walked into the bathroom and cut it all off.  Unlike Buffy, my hair looked terrible.  I immediately drove the 100 miles from college to have my twin fix the mess I made.  Her only option to correct my hack job was a pair of clippers.  She was very pregnant and berated me throughout the process, after her required payment of Cherry Garcia ice cream I headed back to school. 

Short Hair at E3

When I arrived to our flat/ aka the garage we rented, the hubs was already asleep.  It was a long drive so I collapsed beside him relieved to finally be home.  A few hours later I woke up to screaming.  His screaming.  Imagine his surprise when he woke up beside a person in face down with a buzz cut and had no idea who it was?  Though he never woke me screaming again for weeks his hands would roam to the nape of my neck and find my hair missing.

 But I don’t want to keep long hair just so its there when the hubs reaches for it.