Feminist Parenting

My daughter is a brilliant artist who is great at math and just turned six-years old. It is said all to often that they grow so quickly. What surprises me the most is how much my thoughts on feminist parenting have changed over the last six years.

When I found out I was pregnant I did not want to know the gender of my child. Much to our family’s dismay, we bought neutral clothing, bedding and toys and I was determined not to gender my child. If someone told me that I would enjoy purchasing hairbows and tutus I would have laughed hysterically: I love buying bows and the bigger the better.

For her birthday my daughter requested a trip to the Los Angeles Natural History Museum and wore said bows and an adorably gaudy green St. Patrick’s tutu. As she pranced around looking at dinosaur bones and reading plaques I watched grateful to have such a unique and adorable daughter.

One area of improvement is that I need to work on what I say in front of her because she will always repeat it and sometimes it makes me so happy she did.

To the parents at her school who bring their children McDonald’s for lunch and my daughter shared concern for their well being.

What I said: We do not eat at McDonald’s because it is poison.
What I meant: We do not eat at McDonald’s because it is poison.

For the little girls who dressed up like Monster High dolls on Halloween and had encounters with my daughter and were very confused.

What I said: Monster High Dolls are too hoochie.
What I meant: Monster High dolls are too provocative for your age group. As toys they should have less make up and more clothing if they are going to marketed to young girls. The hypersexualization of children’s toys is to widely accepted and just because they are ‘monsters’ does not mean that they do not objectify women.

For the woman at Target who recommended the term “special place” and was aghast as my daughter shared an all to common refrain with her brother.

What I said: Don’t touch your penis please. (to my son)
What I meant: Don’t touch your penis in public.

As our children grow we must protect them but also embrace the people they become (huge bows and all). Most importantly I remember that the way I love myself projects the capacity my daughter will have for self-love.